Dear El Puma,
See my friend has this problem. He really wanted a girlcatfriend and now this certain beautiful black girl cat likes me, I mean him, but now he's scared that having a girlcatfriend means that he's gonna have to share his bugs with her all the time!! Does he?
zazu
Dear Zazu
You sure dis NOT a romantiCATical dilemna? I tink I gots a claws on da bottom of dis page (en pequeño print...) saying dat I doNOTs gots to answer dese kinda peligroso preguntas. HOWeFFUR y porqué, its YOU muchacho I gonna benderize dem rules... UNO VEZ-|
En which case I gots to ask you, to ask yerownself dis- which do you WANT más? dis gata negra, or dem bugs. Dats it in a beetleshell...
you ASKED!
El Puma Magnifíco
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Dear El Puma Magnifíco!
Why does da Mawmaw's snoopervisor keep picking on her?
Troopee
Dear Troopee
Some humanos take dere jobs WAAAAY tooo serioso! Dese disfortunate humanos has not YET figgered out dat dey should WORK TO LIVE, NOT LIVE TO WORK. Dis I tink da problemo wiff dis snooopervisor.
you ASKED!
El Puma Magnifíco
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Dear El Puma Magnifíco!
How comes 60 degrees F feels COLD in September but
WARM in May?
Trooper
Dear Trooper
Dis es da mesmo ting as da ciencia de FOG! 60º en da Fall makes STEAM y RADIATION fog, y 60º en da Spring makes AVECTION fog.
you ASKED!
El Puma Magnifíco
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Dear El Puma Magnifíco!
Ar we da only kitties in da
a) galaxy
b) universe
c) da wyde expanse dat is da sky
an ar da bugs dat I eat da same as da bugs dat are in Meowmees computer programs and iffin so how can I get to dem *licking lips*
Budder *Pondering da mysteries of da univers*
Dear Budder
Da answers to dem preguntas es WHO CARES? We es da only gatitos dat COUNTS! ... y dem putador bugs es only "virtual" bugs so disfortunamente dey es "virtually" tasteless...
you ASKED!
El Puma Magnifíco
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Dear El Puma Magnifíco!
I just remembered another! If we refer to people from AUstraila as being from "DOwn Under" Do they refer to us as being from "Up over"???
Budder
Dear Budder
I tink dey do refer to us as "up overs", cept dem Aussies like to use dere own jargon para everyting so dey shortened it up to "YANKS" !
heh heh heh...
you ASKED!
El Puma Magnifíco
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Dear El Puma Magnifíco!
A fud kwestinWhy du Mexikan jumpin beens jump??
Budder
Dear Budder
Dem beans gotta WORM inside dem dat es hoppin MAD!
you ASKED!
El Puma Magnifíco
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Dear Senor EP--
What is the reason that orange cats from da great white norf--ie Noofunlan'--seem to ask such complex y entertaining questions? Do they just have more time to think of them cuz the nights are long and cold or what? Just curious! Hey we're cats, it's natural!|
Mac and Guy
Dear Mac and Guy,
I tink it a BAAAAAAD habit dat he picked up from his mamá! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
you ASKED!
El Puma Magnifíco
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Dear El Puma
we have a question that has bothered us for some time. Why is it that when you buy something with less or no salt or less or no fat or has some other thing removed from it..it always cost more that if they left the darn stuff out.
Boo N Riley BB
Dear Boo N Riley BB,
I suspect dat it is related to dat silly humano expression bout "You can nunca be too flaco or too Rico! So dese productos es designed to accomplish da primero y make da consumer feel like dey better be workin just as hard at accomplish da latter.
you ASKED!
El Puma Magnifíco
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Dear El Puma Magnifíco!
Dis wus NOT me honestly.....It was Bobby da Bengal Booshay ....When will Newfoundland become Oldfoundland????
K..*licking his nekked leg*
Baldbud
DearBudder
Cuando you guys FIND some new landia! Sheesh! dat one was just SOOO obvious budder!
you ASKED!
El Puma Magnifíco
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Dear El Puma Magnifíco!
It's all subjective, right?????What's another word for Thesaurus?
Jade Victoria
Dear Jade Victoria
Right! Synonymnario!
you ASKED!
El Puma Magnifíco
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Dear El Puma,
The little row of numbers that appear under our posts on the forum facinate me. Our Daddy says that they are the numbers of our computers, but sometimes I notice that the numbers change although posted by the same cat. They must have some kind of a sequence and that is why the decimal point is between groups of them. I say it is the number of our exrays at the vets office for when we need our teeth cleaned. Mommy says, "you guys are one bunch of silly cats." I think she included our Daddy in that statement. Whats your viewpoint on the numbers? Por Favor
The Duke
Dear Juan Juayne
It BiG BruFFer, keepin an ojo on your every moove!
you ASKED!
El Puma Magnifíco
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Dear El Puma,
Do you know what really hisses me off? That's my question. I just wanted to check and see whether you know what really hisses me off.
Hissily yours,
Miss Hissy
Dear Missy Hissy Chita McChew
Yes I do. HEHEHEHEHEEEEE!
you ASKED!
El Puma Magnifíco
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Dear El,
Dear El Puma,
If humans are so smart, why can't they say "meow" as well as we can?
Love,
Chita McChew
Dear Chita McChew,
Some humanos CAN enfacto say "Miau" muy bueno! Primarily humanos dat speaks francais y portugués... cuz dey gots dat frow da voice up into da nariz ting down purrfecto. Disfortunamente its mostly yanquí humanos de Massachussetts dat gots a cultura problemo wiff dere "meow" purrnunciations.
you ASKED!
El Puma Magnifíco
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Dear El Puma Magnifíco!
Is dayre enny speshul signifikance to the lenght of a
keetee kats tayle *Holding tayle up in ayre trying tu measur it*
Emmmmm....... MURlyn......... purrhaps *wif hys measurin taype*
Dear Budda-wanna-be-a sorcerer,
Da longer da tail? da shorter da nariz... heh heh heh....
you ASKED!
El Puma Magnifíco
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Dear El Puma Magnifíco!
OHohoh I gots anuffer! How come sundaes are called sundaes not emmmmmmmm mondaes or fridaes.*Puzzled luk in hys eys*
Butterscotch Sauce
Dear Butterscotch Sauce,
Aquí es da SCOOP! en America during da Victorian period, drinking soda water was considered impolite in some communities y indeed was banned from sale on Sundays. An enterprising druggist in Evanston, Illinois reportedly concocted a legal Sunday alternative containing ice cream and syrup, but no soda. To show respect for da Sabbath, he later changed da spelling of his treat to "sundae."
you ASKED!
El Puma Magnifíco
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Dear El Puma Magnifíco!
If a cat doesn't ever ask you any questions, would you assume the cat knows everything? And how would you answer the non-questions?
Love Chita McChew
Dear Chita McChew
No. Y wiff non-answers!
you ASKED!
El Puma Magnifíco
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Dear El,
Can't you even answer a simple little question like that? Carumba!
Love,
Chita McChew
Dear Chita McChew,
Can't you even ask a simple question? Carajó! hehehe!
you ASKED!
El Puma Magnifíco
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Dear El Puma,
My sister and I walk with our tails pointed up yet my brother walks with his tail pointed down. Why???
zazu
Dear Zazu,
Dis what I finded out on da web from da humano experts, purrsonally I tink it ridiculez!
If the tail is curved gently downward, then curved up again at the tip: The cat is relaxed and comfortable.
If the tail is slightly raised and softly curved: The cat is beginning to get interested in something.
If the tail is erect, but the tip is tilted over, either forward or back: The cat is very interested and feeling friendly.
If the tail is fully erect and the tip is vertical: The cat is offering a friendly, cheerful greeting.
If the tail is erect with the whole length or tip quivering gently: The cat is showing affection.
If the tail is still, but the tip is twitching occasionally: The cat is slightly irritated or pensive.
If the tail is still, but the tip is twitching intensely: The cat is very annoyed.
If the tail is swishing vigorously from side to side: The cat is angry.
If the tail is straight up and fully bristled: The cat is showing aggression (toward another cat).
If the tail is arched and bristled: The cat may attack if further provoked.
If the tail is lowered and fluffed out: The cat is afraid.
If the tail is raised and fluffed out (the "Big Tail"): The cat is probably happily chasing around.
If the tail is fully lowered, perhaps tucked between hind legs: The cat is showing defeat or submissiveness (toward another cat).
If the cat is a female and her tail is held to one side, and she is crouched or with her rump in the air: This female cat is ready to mate.
you ASKED!
El Puma Magnifíco
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Dear El Puma Magnifíco!
In Ancient Egypt, cats were worshiped. Why?
Mojo
Dear Mojo ,
I tinkin da better question is porque dey NOT worshipped da mundo over to dis day! Da onliest answer I can come up wiff es it da fault of dem Romans y dat dadburn Crusade!
Tink about it! ...but what can you spect from humanos dat was suckled by a wild perra!?
you ASKED!
El Puma Magnifíco
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Dear El Puma Magnifico,
Iffen su soo smart, how come we gots to ask the question before you will answer it?
Love, Snowy
Dear Snowy,
Who saided dat I was sooooooooooo smart? HEHEHEHE! I just willing to answer iffen you willing y wanna... ask me.
you ASKED,
El Puma Magnifíco
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Dear El Puma,
Love your twitchy whiskers! My question is: Can you buy an entire chess set in a pawn shop?
Thank you,
JW
Dear Juan Juayne,
Dis question es purrticularily confuzzling... da funniest part was cuando I posed dis inquiry to da Fishman, he didn't get it- y wented on y on... til I hadded to bite his nariz y make him tink about it again. HEHEHEHEEEE!
Wish I could be más helpful (not to mention witty! )
You ASKED!
El Puma Magnífico!
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Dear El Puma,
This is awesome. How did you know even before I asked this question that this is exactly where I would be when I asked this question?
Love,
Snowy
Dear Snowy,
Dis es an example of dat felinenomenomenomenum refurred to as SYNCHRO-GATO-nicety... it opurrate on da mesmo purrinciple y conunderdunderum as dat coconut FALLIN ON A TURISTA CABEZA at da zacto space y time (o should dat be TIMBER!? o purrhaps again, COCONUT!?) continu-ummm... ommmmmmmm... ¿HUH? Oh yeah, it a zen ting, I tink.
You ASKED!
El Puma Magnífico!
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